Fantasy Conversations – Kate Walsh Interviews Ian Holloway
Posted by eddiev18 on February 3, 2010
First of all, a very happy 2010 to you all!
I am aware that I may well be commiting a grave sin for having not wished you these tidings in the month of January but, the thing is, I got drunk a lot in January. I’m sorry. You see, when a man gets drunk and attempts to tap out the sort of rambling nonsense that you fine readers are accustomed to finding on this site, he tends to find himself writing, well, rambling nonsense. But it’s the sort of rambling nonsense that doesn’t really make any sense. Case in point, pretty much exactly what i’m doing now.
Ahem… moving on from possibly the worst Happy New Year/apology combination in the history of Happy New Year/apology combinations (well, with the exception of that time you had to write an apology letter to your best mate’s parents, after you vomited on their cat whilst singing ‘Auld Lang Syne’), I had a thought the other day…
It was a thought that formed in my mind after considering a pet hate of mine – what I refer to as the ‘generic television presenter’. This is the sort of person (generally some form of ex-reality ‘star’) who, because they look pretty in front of a camera, is whored around to numerous low quality televsion shows, and tasked with the job of presenting the car-crash that follows.
They smile, do exactly what they are told, read an autocue, and occasionally ask a few questions to a contenstant or guest celebrity. The ‘generic television presenter’ will do all of this without displaying any form of personality, or stamping any of their own authority on the programme and, as a result, they all end up looking like some sort of grinning robot from a production line of other similar robots, all of whom have been forced to spray themselves with orange paint, and spend months using Pearl Drops.
Anyway, what’s this got to do with football I hear you say? Well, nothing. Absolutely nothing. I just wanted to have a bit of a rant about Myleene Klass and her clones. That said, I have been asked to record a few podcasts during the World Cup this summer, and this week I was sniffing around for material.
I was getting nowhere, when I had a thought… what if the ‘generic television presenters’ could actually help me with this?
I could ask them to interview the legends of the game about the great tournament! Fine, these people are more accustomed to asking the sort of questions you’d find in a copy of Heat magazine, but they’re professionals aren’t they? And hey, they’ve got more experience than I do!
I’ll just have to brief them properly.
To practise, I teamed up ex-Apprentice wannabe Kate Walsh (now presenting early evening train-wreck ‘Live At Studio Five’) with the greatest man to come out of the West Country since Sir Winston Churchill (last went on a caravan holiday to Cornwall). Here’s how it went…